Tomorrow is the - or at least 'a' - big day!

"Things turn out best for people who make the best of the way things turn out."

Hey everyone. Please excuse my loooong delay from writing, it's occurred as a result of a number of factors. Firstly, there just hasn't been much going on! My life right now is very calculated - training has its benefits but in general it's just machinery through which I have to work my way. Tomorrow we all have our big ceremony to announce where in Botswana we will be placed for two years. I had my interview this week... my supervisor seems incredibly receptive about our desires and preferences so hopefully I will be pleased. At the end of the day, my placement will matter a lot less than my perception of it, but there are a few spots I am really itching to be a part of. Then on Tuesday we have the pleasure of going to visit our site for a week or so, and then we come back to wrap up about two more weeks of training. I'll be very much ready to go to site - I'd be ready if it was tomorrow - but I am trying to reap what I can out of everyday at the moment, especially since I know I will miss some of my fellow colleagues once we disperse.

This week I haven't gotten much sleep at all, I am sure in part due to tomorrow's big news. I feel a little bit lonely... just a little bit, don't worry! I think the ironic part is that my loneliness is juxtaposed with an extreme eagerness to get to site and be alone. I am indeed an enigma at times.

I hear gas is high in America... you know what that means? It's even higher in the rest of the world. Hate to burst your bubble. The prices of taxis and buses went up a lot here as well. But it's something we'll all have to work through together I guess.

Anyway, no more words for now - I'll try to post Monday before I leave for my site.

Thanks Scott for the periodic phone calls... hope the cycling is going well! Rick, your gift box is being used daily, and each time with many thanks to and thoughts of you. Dana and Ginnie, sorry our calls got cut off - service has been bad. Try again soon? Jess and Becky, I'm in the process of formulating a nice response to you both.

Karin, where are you?

Love you all.

Mail & Things

"Life's too short to take all of this"
Not true! And what's more -
Life's too short to mind,
So just keep on
With the Sweet Up & Down
~D.Matthews

I am not having much time to write at the moment, so more will come later - including responses to my many emails! Thanks.

As for mail to Botswana, the USPS has a flat-rate envelope and some flat-rate boxes. There are two flat-rate boxes that hold the same volume (but are different shapes) that are $37 and a larger box that is $49. I am not sure how much the flat-rate envelope is. But you can stuff as much as possible into the boxes for the same price, hence flat rate. They take a few weeks to get here.

*IMPORTANT* on the customs form, LIE. Do not write what's really in the box... it becomes more likely to be opened by sticky fingers along the way and some things I am supposed to pay taxes on. So just write 'educational materials' or 'documents'. This will keep people out.

Again the address (until late June) is:

Brent Keener
US PEACE CORPS
Private Bag 00243
Gaborone, Botswana

"Trav'lin All Alone..."

This world is like a mirror –
Reflect on what you do
And if you face it smiling
It will smile right back to you
~Culture

Such a great lyric! Life is good my way. One of the books I am currently reading is very powerful, A New Earth. I avoided the book for some time as it’s an awfully trendy read right now (part of Oprah’s book club, hence its popularity), but I surrendered after it was recommended by a friend whose opinion I hold in the highest regard. I am glad I took his advice. Yes, you could say it’s a bit of a ‘self-help’ book --- and those of you who were with me in Ghana (Round I) recall my affinity for self-help books while in Africa! Ha! But for a year or so I’ve been kind of feeling like my personal development has plateaued some, and this book is really adjusting my perceptions to my social environment as well as my thoughts. I must admit though it’s making me a bit of a recluse. I’ve noticed a lot of people in the group have formed close-knit pairs or trios and while I think I am still the only one who can name every person and training staff member, I don’t seem to be forming a close attachment. This is kind of unnatural for me and I guess if I think about it too much I may take it personally, but at the same time I am enjoying the solitude and am reminding myself that in less than two months I will be the only lekgoa (white person) in town, and so my deep connections need to be with Batswana anyway. I do love my cohort though - very true and powerful individuals.

Anyway, I wish I could explain the book but I fear I would do it no justice. But I would say if you’re feeling a bit stuck - personally/mentally/emotionally/spiritually – if you find yourself incessantly trying and failing to make changes in your attitudes, if you constantly feel like a slave to your own thoughts, find yourself falling into the same traps (often the ones you set for yourself), or if you wish you could eradicate negativity from your mental radar then I suggest you pick it up. The author’s writing style and examples are slightly elementary for my taste, but I think it is because he is not a native English speaker. The material, however, is pure and is really assisting me towards the personal development that I have been seeking – made easier by my new environment which is in itself so influential and inspiring. A part of me wishes I could share with you some of my new thoughts and feelings, but at this point I find it quite personal. Some one-on-one talks with margaritas could potentially pull it out of me, but I don’t see my blog as an equally conducive environment. Maybe another time.

Priscillah is gone. She was to stay until May’s end but Mama stumbled upon a new girl this past weekend and so Priscilla left early. She knocked on my door on Sunday to say “I am leaving”. I thought she meant for the day so I was just like “Cool, see ya later buddy” but nope she left for good… talk about a quick goodbye. So we have a new girl, Imelda. She must be about 18 or so and is fresh off the boat; she just arrived in Botswana last Wednesday. She is awfully shy, as I guess I would be too if I was an 18 year old maid for a relatively rich family in a new country. There are hierarchies within hierarchies, aren’t there? Life is so fascinating and our experience of it is just the tip of the iceberg’s tip.

Wednesday I leave for a place called Piliqwe to shadow someone who currently serves here. Her name is Ashlee, she works in an HIV/AIDS treatment clinic and has been here for one year. So I will have the pleasure of learning from her from Wednesday – Sunday. It will be so nice to get away from the monotony of training and to see a different part of the country.

As you approach summer, think of me as I prepare to bear the cold. By the looks of April, we are expecting a colder winter than normal.

Jamin – Good luck in Rwanda! Send me an email with all of your pre-thoughts. I’m so eager to know how you’re reconciling your upcoming departure with your current anxiety.

Holly – kick some butt these past few weeks. Congrats on officially being the smartest and the prettiest Keener.

Heidi – Don’t worry, you’re the richest… and if you play it right, that lasts a lot longer than brains or beauty!

Jessica & Becky – Do you even read this? LOL. I need an update on your lives STAT.

Ginnie - Hang in there... application process is so so frustrating but you'll make it through. Consider it part of the training for being patient and accepting ;)

Mauricio – If you didn’t send me one yet, I need an update on that last message you sent me!

Dana – Africa just isn’t the same without you. I’ll see/smell/hear something and whip around as if to find you behind me so I can share it with you, but alas no you. But you’re here with me in another way and that will continue.

Karin & Sara – You’ve got mail.

Stephen – Where’s my first CD at Gayngsta? I’m glad you’ve had such a productive semester and I hope summer gives you what you deserve.

Scott – When you cyclin’ buddy? Care to cycle your way to Molepolole?

K.Hubb – Every day there is some song to which I want to text you the lyrics, but int’l texts are so bloody expensive. But if it’s the thought that counts then your inbox is eternally bombarded with copious texts of cheesy lyrics.

Caroline – Pick VT for reasons that are self-explanatory, or I could write you a massive email convincing you. Also need an update on that last message you sent me!

Zach – Z... sorry that the minor delay in our voices kind of limits the scope of our conversations, but hearing you as much as I do is bound to have me going through withdrawal should it subside. It’s the best way to start my mornings. Check your email boy.

Who else reads this god-long thing?

Somebody tell Raven I miss and love him and good God will someone order a nice bourbon in my honor?

Some Pictures

Our compound, my section (the window on the left is my room - the door opens to a living area and then there is a bathroom with running water). Then a picture of our kitchen and then of my nieces, Gosego and Retilwe.

The sunsets here are the best in the world so I will be sure to take pictures of that soon, and there are copious amounts of stars at night. If you think Montana has a big sky, wait til you see Botswana!

More News

I will be writing entries on my home computer and uploading several at a time when I have the chance to get to the internet, so be sure to scroll down each time you come to my blog to make sure you have read the previous entry, because the newest ones appear at the top. Some will be backlogged so you may find that two or three from previous days have been uploaded at one time.

Things are pretty good here. Batswana are significantly more reserved than Ghanaians, which is both nice but at the same time kind of unwelcoming. They are not unfriendly at all, but they are not really outgoing either. I don’t think I have had one person over the age of 12 actually walk up to me with the excitement you see in the rest of Africa. So it is much different than what I have experienced. This can work to your benefit, though, when you are walking somewhere and don’t want to be stopped by every person you pass (especially since my walk to work is just under one hour, and I have to be there at 7:30am). It definitely gives you some room to breathe.

Nights and mornings are more difficult than the days. The family goes to bed around 8, so I spend a lot of time alone in my room at night – which normally would be great, but I think until I am adjusted I find that I am tempted to feel lonely and misplaced. The rest of the people in my cohort live pretty far from me so I am kind of isolated. Upon waking I am greeted with the BRUTAL cold of southern Africa (God, they weren’t lying about how cold it gets here!) and waking up at 5am in the cold and dark, alone, and trying to bathe and make breakfast is certainly an unpleasant task! I will definitely be requesting a site in the north, where winters are significantly more mild. The problem is that there is a lot of competition to be up north, as this is home to all of the famous African wildlife. But anyway, once my day continues I do just fine… especially when it’s time to come home and play with my nieces, who unknowingly remind me to take the time to stop and breathe. Children have a way, don’t they?

I am becoming really close with Priscilla, but unfortunately she is leaving soon. Batswana are pretty dismissive of Zimbabweans and I think this has contributed to her departure. She is pregnant, and has told my family that she is going back to Zimbabwe to have the baby, though this is not true: she has actually decided to go to South Africa where she thinks she will be able to make more money. I will miss her. Every late afternoon I bring my iPod and speakers into the kitchen and we play Zimbabwean music – a lot of Thomas Mapfumo and Oliver Mtukudzi – and we dance and laugh and she teaches me to cook. I’m always fascinated at how close you can get to someone in such a short period of time, if the environment is right (Z). Mama doesn’t like how much I help in the kitchen, I think especially since I am helping ‘The Zimbabwean’ but I need to learn and Priscilla’s English is so pleasant and she has great stories of life in Zimbabwe before things fell apart, as they often do.

It may be another week or so until I can use the internet, but I don’t think much will change in the next few weeks anyway. For now just training, training, training. What’s new with you and America?

Safely in Botswana

Week One? Really? It feels like significantly longer, but not at all in a bad way. I’ll skip the details of our journey and the first few days in Gaborone (the capital city of Botswana, pronounced Hab-ore-own-ay) because it’s mostly inconsequential. This is going to be a long one and it’s just about today.

I’m writing this on Wednesday, April 23 but I am not sure when I will have the opportunity to upload it. Today I met my new family for the next 3 months. I am staying in a city called Molepolole (Mo-lay-po-lo-lay). What an exciting ceremony! The families range in demography, as does their level of English and the accommodations that they are graciously providing us. I think I got the cream of the crop in all regards, yay for me. I was met by my Batswana Mother (people from Botswana are called Batswana, not Botswanans… but a singular person is known as a Motswana). THANK GOD she was an English teacher in her younger years so she was one of the few who spoke decent English. And oh she is the cutest little African lady! When our names were called she gave me the biggest hug, grabbed my hand, walked me to our table and said, “You are my son, Kagiso Pule.” (Kah-hee-so Poo-lay) which translates to “The peace that comes after the rain.” It doesn’t rain often in most of Africa, but when it rains it pours. So after a hard African rain, there is such a loud silence in the air. I’m not gonna lie, I think I have the coolest name of anyone in the group J Is it an apt one for me?

After our lunch she drove, yes – drove, me back to my new home in her 1996 Toyota Camry, with leather seats. God bless Africa. The family is quite well off in African terms. The compound (it’s gated) consists of three very small houses, with electricity and running water in the relevant rooms. My room opens directly to the outside and is quite large; I have a double bed, a chest-of-drawers, and an armoire and one outlet for electricity as well as an overhead light… INCREDIBLY luxurious accommodations in African terms. In fact, it is Agnes’ room but she moved all of her things out and into another room so that I could have her room. How sweet is that? I’ll try to post photos soon.

Agnes is a grandmother of three children, two girls one boy, all of whom are grown. The two daughters are at university in South Africa so I will meet them at a later time. The son, Karabo, stays here and he is incredibly welcoming. He is missing about one-third of his skull, which has left a bad scar; I am not sure what happened but I imagine it will come up at some point. He is 31 but as a result of the injury his disposition is obviously not up to speed with his years. Agnes has two granddaughters and one grandson who are staying here right now. The girls, Retilwe (6) and Gosego (4) – precious gems of life! But Gosego is only here because school is on vacation. She will go back to live with her father and attend school in a few weeks. I can already tell that I will miss her energy. The grandson is Keletso, probably just slightly younger than I, and is very soft-spoken but I’m working on him! We bonded over the Rap on my iPod… typical (thanks K for the Akon). And of course my African father, who now that I think about it I have no idea what is name is, but he is an incredibly warm man too. We also have two dogs, a Rottweiler mix named Jack (our bodyguard) and an emaciated Jack Russell puppy named Snoop Dog. In general, people are not nice to animals. They are more for protection than for pets. The yard has a guava tree, an orange tree, and a pomegranate tree, as well as a small vegetable garden. The good life!

Finally, the family has a maid named Priscilla, a refugee from Zimbabwe. There are TONS of Zimbabweans in Botswana as the situation is obviously pretty bad there. In general, host countries do not like refugees (people are the same everywhere you go, eh?) and there is a lot visible hostility towards Zimbabweans here, but Priscilla seems to be treated pretty well. That being said, she does sleep in a storage closet…

She does the wash and prepares dinner. People in Botswana do not really have family dinners, or if they do they just congregate around the TV or radio. I was in my room doing things expecting to meet everyone for dinner soon when Priscilla knocked on my door with a tray of food and water. I playfully scolded her for bringing it to me and told her next time I would pick it up myself. So I had dinner alone in my room. I would have invited her to join me but asking a women into your room is extremely inappropriate (more for her than for me) and likely would have gotten her into trouble since she is viewed as a lower class than the family and especially me. Sad times. But after my meal I carried my tray and dishes back to the main house where Priscilla was washing up, which I probably wasn’t supposed to do. I thanked Priscilla in Shona (her Zimbabwean language), which shocked her – since even the family doesn’t know how to say ‘thank you’ in Shona. A little kindness really can go a long way - she was so touched. She is pregnant by her husband, who oddly lives a few blocks away and not with her. Things like this are common in Africa - Mama & Papa sleep in two separate houses on the compound as well. Culture. Anyway, Priscilla and I talked for a good while, which was so enjoyable for me because her English is excellent and it is clear that she doesn’t get enough social interaction. African women work so so hard: the last to go to bed and the first to wake up.

But the family is so incredible it makes me swell with delight. I was instantly referred to as son / brother / uncle, etc. The little girls calling me uncle is the best feeling in the world (hint hint HJK & HMK!). Within 5 minutes of arriving it was, “Uncle, let’s go play toss”. At the ceremony, some of my unfortunate colleagues were going home with people who spoke no English, and some of their families seemed so aloof and uninterested. I think everyone was envious of my match! Now I have the best American family and the best African family! Maybe Jesus doesn’t hate me after all. We all ended the night holding hands in a prayer (minus Priscilla, of course), which they seem to do every evening.

Other than that things are pretty good, except that nights/mornings are FREEZING and it’s not even winter yet. I will suffer through winter, I am sure of this. Additionally, the language is SO hard to learn. They have several sounds that we don’t have in our alphabet, including the infamous ‘click’ sound of southern Africa… I know you all are jealous that you can’t speak in clicks! Additionally every ‘R’ is rolled so a lot of the whiteys are having trouble with that. Tomorrow I start the real training – language classes 2-3 times a day as well as technical trainings on what I will be doing starting June when I move to my new sight. Training is Monday – Saturday, 8:00-4:30… exhausting, I know. However I do have high-speed internet in Molepolole so do expect to see me on, especially on weekends!

If you sent me an email, I got it, I’ll respond to it at home, and upload the response the next time I am in the café (this saves money as internet cafes are not cheap). Things are great for now, but keep me in your thoughts as the first few months are always the most difficult.

Oh, and boo to Hillary Clinton… a random Motswana informed me of the news this morning. He and I were both disappointed. Love you all.

Down to a day...

"...so here the Archangel paused,

Betwixt the world destroyed and the world restored."

~Milton, "Paradise Lost"

I leave in less than 24 hours to head to Phillie for a few days of training, after which I head to Africa.  I myself am feeling simultaneously destroyed and restored as well.  Six months ago I decided to apply to the Peace Corps while still searching for the 'right job' in DC.  My application process was a slight smack in the face - for a person my age I have quite a lot of experience and knowledge relative to my field.  However, I was unable to find a job that I would love daily (which is my rule for my life) and so I decided that gaining experience from the Peace Corps would allow me to earn such a job upon my return.  My professional motivations haven't changed - this is really good for my career.  However, my personal life has changed in these 6 months, dramatically... more so than I had wanted, to be honest.  I wanted to get to April 15 and say "I have absolutely nothing that is tempting me to stay in America... this is 100% what I want to do.  Let's go."  But is anything ever 100%???  And so while I can easily justify my decision to depart on professional grounds, I find myself having difficulty in feeling so confident with respect to my personal life.  I guess it's hard to feel good about leaving so much behind when you're going to a place where, initially, you have absolutely nothing.  There's a lot of excitement to this thought - after all, the finest pieces of art begin on blank canvases, right?

But I'll miss my friends, and my God I'll miss my family (who really are more my friends... I am so fortunate in that regard.  I love you all so so much).

I just hope all of these important people in my life understand that me leaving has nothing to do with them not making me happy enough to stay... it's not that at all.  Africa is such a massive part of me; I shine on this continent.  You can't grow unless you're challenged, and Africa challenges me.  Some of my greatest memories and personal epiphanies have occurred on this continent; I love it to my core.  But the worst feeling in the world is wondering if the people you love are thinking "Sorry, you're really wonderful but not good enough for me to stay... see ya in 2."  It breaks my heart to think (or know?) that my departure is causing pain to those I love.  But nothing would satisfy me more than to share this part of my life with those people.  To my friends, to my family:  come.  Come and let me show you Africa.  Come and let me show you Botswana.  Come and let me show you a whole other world - a place that we know exists but never really digest its reality.  Come and let me show you another side of me.  And, so importantly to me, come and let me see another side of you.  See you on the other side.

27 Months in 27 Days

Welcome to my blog.  This will be the foundation for the expression of my experiences while in Botswana.  Readers will be able to subscribe to my Blog as well as comment on individual postings, and I really encourage you to do so.  But please be mindful that your comments are visible to other readers and that my family as well as very professional individuals will have access to your comments.  Be yourself, but be the tactful version of yourself.  :)

To the right you will find useful links such as information on Botswana, including an excerpt from my graduate thesis which coincidentally dealt in part with Botswana's extremely unique HIV/AIDS situation.  I will also from time to time post books that I am reading, CDs I may be listening to, or other useful links that I think you should check out so keep an eye out for changes in that column as well.

Currently it's just passing midnight, 27 days before I leave the country for 27 months.  I must admit, people keep asking me "Are you excited?!?" and my dutiful response of "Yes" is slightly forced.  It's not that I have any serious doubts or am ungrateful for the opportunity with which I am about to be blessed.  I think maybe I just feel as though, having been to Africa three times prior, I know what to expect.  At first realization of this feeling, I was disappointed that I felt so arrogantly about that and wish I shared the excitement of my fellow colleagues with whom I have had some contact with.  Don't get me wrong, I'm excited!  And after further thought, I came to a conclusion with which I am more comfortable:  I'm just not overly-romanticizing what is about to happen.  In general, I think this is a positive thing - it can look like another classic case of Brent's cynicism but I think in reality I'm just going in to this with a very level head:  no I'm-going-to-save-the-world mentality, no real thoughts of growing dreadlocks, scarring my face, not showering for a month, and killing livestock with my own hands (again) like the cliche idealist.  I think I know what I'm getting in to, both in good ways and bad, and I think that's why I'm entering it like any 'normal' person would enter a 'normal' job.  This experience is what I want my life to be, not some 2 year break from it, and so for me "excitement" for an upcoming radical change in my current lifestyle is really just RELIEF that I am finally doing what I for so long have wanted to do.

I will be both the happiest and the loneliest that I have ever been in the coming two years.  It will mean so much to me for you all to continue reading my thoughts, as thorough and exhausting as they may be, but in return I genuinely want to know what becomes new in your lives - even if it seems so small to you.  From previous experience in Africa, sometimes hearing the small things from home makes a world of a difference.  Your life IS equally important - to me and to the rest of a world, and to a society that requires a division of labor to function.  So, please, listen to what I have to say but of equal importance - let me listen to you too.

I love you all and I can't wait to share this journey with you.